


You have 465 messages

by Mojoslip



Series: You have 465 messages [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Developing Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Humor, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecure Sherlock Holmes, Post-Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem, Post-Season/Series 04, Slow Burn, Texting, groupchat, papa lestrade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 01:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30064278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mojoslip/pseuds/Mojoslip
Summary: In which John Watson creates a groupchat with Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, Molly Hooper and Greg Lestrade.
Relationships: Greg Lestrade & John Watson, Molly Hooper & Greg Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes & Molly Hooper, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: You have 465 messages [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2211807
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Christmas At Baker Street

**John Watson has created "Christmas Eve 221b"**

**John Watson has added Sherlock, Mycroft, Molly and Greg**

**_Friday 07:30_ **

**John:** So whose down for Christmas Eve at Baker Street?

**Sherlock:** What is the purpose of this chat?

**Molly:** Oh hello everyone! Yes of course I'll be coming on Christmas Eve, John. :)

**John:** Glad to hear it!

I thought you were supposed to be the detective. I created a group chat to invite our friends for dinner on Christmas Eve, Sherlock.

**Sherlock:** My brother is in this group chat.

**John:** Excellent deduction!

**Sherlock:** Your sarcasm is abhorrent.

"I created a group chat to invite our friends for dinner". This meaning that Mycroft is your friend, I assure you he is not.

**John:** Yes he is! Don't listen to him Mycroft, I know you're lurking there.

**Greg:** Knowing him he probably is.

Also hello everyone!

I'll be there for dinner, John.

**John:** Excellent. Thanks.

**Greg:** Should I bring anything?

**John:** Nah, I think we've got it covered. Mrs. H is cooking up a storm.

**Greg:** Oh I have missed her cooking.

**Mycroft:** I will be in attendance.

**Molly:** Yay! The whole gang will be there.

**Sherlock:** Oh jolly!

**Mycroft:** Sarcasm doesn't suit you, brother mine.

**John:** Glad to hear your coming, Mycroft.

You can invite Anna if you want.

**Molly:** Who is Anna?

**Sherlock:** Mycroft's PA.

**Molly:** I thought her name was Anthea?

**Sherlock:** That's just her "secret identity".

**Molly:** Oh...well it isn't a secret anymore..

**Greg:** What have you done, John?

**John:** Hey! I haven't done anything. She told me her real name. Jheez guys.

**Mycroft:** I wasn't aware of this. I'll speak with her now.

**John:** No! Don't get her in trouble.

**Mycroft:** I assure you she's the one who put herself in trouble by compromising her identity.

How long have you known?

**John:** Culverton.

**Greg:** "Cereal" killer guy?

**John:** Yeah.

Mycroft it isn't a big deal. We're friends.

**Sherlock:** Mycroft wouldn't know what those are.

**Greg:** Despite us being slightly frightened by your brother we are his friends.

No need for anyone to be dramatic.

**Mycroft:** When did she reveal her name to you?

**John:** Culverton.

**Mycroft:** Yes as you said, I was hoping you'd go further.

Detail.

**John:** I'd rather not.

**Mycroft:** Why?

**John:** It was a rather personal situation.

**Mycroft:** You stated we are friends, do friends not talk about personal situations with one another?

**Greg:** I've got to get to work, you two should talk privately though. See you!

**Mycroft:** Goodbye, Gregory.

**Sherlock:** Who is Gregory?

**Mycroft:** Lurking are we, Sherlock?

**Sherlock:** It is a group chat. I'll say my piece when I wish. Continue your conversation with John.

**John:** I'd rather not.

**Sherlock:** Why?

**John:** As I said it was a personal situation, can we just drop it now?

If I were to do anything with that information you would know it, you keep tabs on me.

**Molly:** He keeps tabs you?

**Sherlock:** He keeps tabs on all of us.

**Molly:** What!?

**Sherlock:** Molly how you didn't know is beyond me. Don't fret, he's not as scary as he looks.

**Mycroft:** John Watson did you engage in sexual intercourse with my PA?

**John:** What the actual fuck Mycroft?

That's the conclusion you have come to?

How could you even accuse me of doing that?

**Mycroft:** It's the only logical explanation.

Tell me the reason why she told you her name or I will have to take drastic measures.

**Molly:** Yeah he really isn't scary anyways off to the morgue! See you!

**Sherlock:** Mycroft even you know it's foolish to "threaten" John.

**Mycroft:** This is of the upmost importance, I must know.

**Sherlock:** Why don't you ask Anna?

**Mycroft:** Brother mine, of course I have already thought of doing that. She is currently in a meeting.

So, Dr. Watson.

...

...

I am waiting.

**John:** You want to know why Anna told me her real name? I'll tell you then. In the morgue at Culverton's hospital I did something so disgustingly shameful. When I did I started having a panic attack and I was crying which led to a full on mental breakdown. I was sitting outside the hospital trying to calm down whilst waiting for somebody to pick me up, then Anna showed up. She helped me calm down and asked me what was wrong and I told her I couldn't tell her because what I did was truly horrid. She told me I could trust her and that there was no judgement because we're friends. I told her that I didn't even know her name. So she told me her name and comforted me whilst I fucking sobbed on the pavement like a child.

But she was there for me despite the inexplicably horrible thing I had done and she listened.

She listened whilst I was upset.

Are you happy now, Mycroft?

I'm going to make my daughter breakfast.

Goodbye.

**Sherlock:** I already made Watson breakfast. You can bring her down and go take a shower.

**John:** Oh, thanks Sherlock. I'll be downstairs in a moment.

**_Friday 12:30_ **

**Greg** : Oh damn I missed John attacking Mycroft.

John are you alright though? Wanna talk about what happened at the hospital?

Oh wait is it that thing you told me in the interrogation room?

**John:** Yeah it is.

**Greg:** I'm sorry Mycroft pushed it out of you, that was out of line.

**Sherlock:** Don't apologise on behalf of my brother, Graham.

**Greg:** You know my name is Greg.

I wasn't apologising on his behalf, I'm just sorry that John had to bring it up.

**Molly:** Hello! On my lunch break right now.

What happened at the hospital?

**Sherlock:** Nothing of importance.

It's been dealt with and all is fine now.

**John:** Is it?

**Sherlock:** Of course. More than fine.

**John:** Sherlock.

**Sherlock:** John it's fine.

**John:** No it isn't.

**Sherlock:** It is.

Lestrade do you have any cases?

**Greg:** None of your value, crime rate is low during the holidays.

**Sherlock:** Dull.

Why can't there be a good murder!?

**Greg:** Boo-hoo people have decided to not kill each other.

**Sherlock:** Exactly! I need an exciting murder - oh wait that was an attempt at sarcasm.

**Greg:** Just when I think you've grasped the concept of sarcasm you go and do that.

I expect nothing less of you though.

**Sherlock:** As you should.

**Sherlock** / _John_

_Hey, I know I've already apologised but I want to say sorry again._

**I've already forgiven you.**

_I know but that doesn't mean I've forgiven myself._

_I am so sorry._

_I've caused you so much pain and you always forgive me._

**It was just a few scratches.**

**I admit I've caused you pain too, we're even.**

_I could have killed you Sherlock._

_I kicked you so badly whilst you were high!_

**I could have killed you too.**

_What? When?_

**When I jumped. You were suicidal.**

_How did you know?_

**I saw your arms when you were changing your shirt the other day. You've been hiding them for some time so I had my suspicions, seeing it confirmed it** _._ **You didn't have them before the fall so that means it happened during my time away. Hence you covering your arms upon my return**.

_Suicide is the sole individuals choice._

**Agreed but there are contributing factors to it. I was your contributing factor.**

_Yes. Yes you were._

_I forgive you. I'll always forgive you._

**You attempted suicide.**

_I did, I thought you already knew that though._

**No. It's not in your medical report.**

**Why didn't you go to hospital?**

_Anderson._

**Anderson?**

_Phillip Anderson._

**Yes, yes I understand who you're talking about I don't know how he relates to you not going to hospital after attempting suicide.**

_He created a "fan-club" called "the empty hearse" as a way to prove that you weren't really dead._

**I'm aware however I'm still not following.**

_I swallowed a handful of pills, enough to kill me._

_I sat on the couch waiting to pass out then I got a text message. I was going to ignore it but I got another one then another one. Nobody texted me that often back then so I checked my phone._

_It was Anderson._

_He said he found some evidence that Moriarty was in fact real (of course I knew that. I've never doubted you), sent me the information and asked if I wanted to help him clear your name._

_I thought if I were to die it would be in a world where everyone knew how brilliant Sherlock Holmes was._

_I made myself throw up then took care of myself until stable enough to assist Anderson._

_When we cleared your name I planned on killing myself but then I met Mary and she filled the void for a while._

**The void?**

_Nothing._

**Is it filled now?**

_In some capacity yes._

**Are you suicidal?**

_No._

**Good.**

**Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.**

_Of course I trust you._

**Anderson saved your life.**

_He did._

**Does he know?**

_No._

**You're embarrassed about being suicidal.**

_Of course I am. I'm a fucking soldier and I decided the way to end my life would be by me doing it. It's childish and cowardice._

**Not at all. You're brave. You overcome your own mind John** _._ **The mind is a very powerful thing. Don't be ashamed. You're alive.**

**I'll attempt to be nicer to Anderson. He doesn't know it but he saved a good man.**

_Thank you, Sherlock._

_It's good that we're talking about feelings, we should be more open with one another given the shit we've been through._

_I know you hate sentimental talk so thank you._

**I don't mind it when it comes to you John.**

**I just want you to be okay.**

_Are you okay?_

**I am.**

_Then I am too._

_My lunch is over now._

_See you later._

**See you.**


	2. James Bond

**_Saturday 08:20_ **

**Molly:** Good morning!

**Greg:** Good morning, Molly.

**John:** Morning, all.

**Sherlock:** I thought this chat was for Christmas at Baker Street?

Why are we dwelling with morning niceties?

**Molly:** I like saying good morning to my friends :) This group chat seemed like a good place to do so.

I thought it would cheer you all up.

**John:** Ignore him, Molly.

**Greg:** I'm surprised we didn't create a group chat earlier on.

**Sherlock:** There are several chats within the people in this one.

The fact that there hasn't been one with all of us is a good point, George.

**Molly:** Maybe because of what happened yesterday.

**Sherlock:** Perhaps.

**Greg:** Speaking of, Mycroft hasn't text since John's speech.

My name is Greg by the way.

**John:** Can we not refer to it as a speech?

**Sherlock:** Regardless of the contents of "the speech" I'm glad you put my brother in his place.

He pries too much.

**Greg:** Bugger kidnapped me the other day from work.

**Molly:** Where you work is not a mystery, Greg. :p

**Greg:** It's still creepy as hell!

What was it like your first time?

**Molly:** My first time?

**Greg:** First time getting kidnapped.

**Molly:** Oh! He never did that.

**Sherlock:** Mycroft has never kidnapped you?

**Molly:** No..?

**Sherlock:** That's surprising.

**Greg:** Maybe he draws the line with kidnapping women.

**John:** Not at all, he kidnapped my date and I one time.

**Greg:** Really?

**John:** Yep.

Didn't get a second date, sadly.

**Greg:** Holmes brother's cock blocking you from day one.

How is your love life going anyways?

**Sherlock:** What is that supposed to mean?

**John:** Love life is pretty non existent right now.

**Greg:** I'm shocked, Three Continents Watson.

**John:** What the actual fuck, Greg!?

How do you know that name?

**Molly:** Does that mean what I think it means?

**Sherlock:** Yes.

**John:** Not you as well!

**Greg:** Where do you think I heard it from? Of course Mr. Sherlock Holmes knows.

**John:** Yeah but which of my friends told him. You've never spoken to my friends.

**Greg:** You have friends outside of this group chat? I'm hurt John Watson.

**John:** Old friends. You guys are actually my only friends, no idea what that says about me.

Anyways.

The only people that know the name are my army mates.

**Sherlock:** And...

...

**John:** Harry.

Fuck my life.

**Sherlock:** There you go!

**Greg:** She's quite fun. I like her.

**John:** You've met her?

**Greg:** Yeah had dinner with her and Sherlock.

**John:** What? Why wasn't I told?

**Greg:** Anyways got to go do detective stuff. See ya mate ;)

**John:** I hate you, Greg.

**Greg:** Love you too, babe ;)

Bye!

...

...

**Sherlock:** Are you dating Grant?

**John:** 1\. His name is Greg

2\. No. Why?

**Sherlock:** He called you "babe" and said he loved you.

**John:** Ah, it was just a joke. Don't worry.

**Sherlock:** Oh.

I wasn't worrying, who said I was worrying.

**John:** I have to work now. Talk to you later.

**_Saturday 12:35_ **

**Greg renamed the chat from "Christmas Eve 221b" to "A look book on John Watson's love life"**

**John:** What the fuck Greg?

**Greg:** Lunch break.

You didn't tell us about your love life.

Seemed fitting.

So do tell.

**John:** There's nothing to tell.

**Greg:** I don't believe you mate.

**John:** Nothing's going on. Nothing's been going on for quite some time now.

**Sherlock:** John hasn't gone on a date in 145 days.

**Greg** : Right because that's not creepy at all.

So you haven't had a shag in 145 days?

...

Answer me, Watson.

**John:** I see you typing, Sherlock. Don't you dare answer.

**Greg:** Ooo gossip at 221b? So you HAVE had sex.

**John:** It's not what you think it is.

**Molly:** It feels like I'm in secondary school again.

This group chat was a good idea, John. :)

**John:** I disagree. I've been on the brunt of abuse since this chat started.

**Greg:** Cannot argue with you there, mate.

Seriously though why aren't you on the dating scene?

**John:** It's just not important to me.

I have everything I need.

**Greg:** Rosie.

**John:** Yeah, exactly.

**Molly:** And Sherlock! You two seem to be doing quite well at this co-parenting thing.

**John:** Thank you.

Sherlock is quite taken on her.

Look.

_[image/sherlock/reading/to/rosie]_

**Molly:** awww they're so cute _._

She's so small curled up on his chest.

**Greg:** Who knew he could look so soft.

**Sherlock:** Soft? I am not soft.

**Molly:** Oh hello Sherlock!

**Greg:** Yeah you are mate. It's alright, it's nice to see you being human instead of shouting commands at people.

Send more, John.

**Sherlock:** Do not.

**John:** Too late.

_[image/sherlock/and/rosie/tiara]_

**Molly:** Oh you're so cute, Sherlock!

**Sherlock:** I am no such thing.

**Molly:** Yea you are ;)

**Greg:** Are you flirting with Sherlock?

**Sherlock:** No, she isn't.

She is however dating somebody who she wishes to bring to Christmas Eve dinner but she's too afraid to ask.

**Greg has renamed the chat from "a look book on John Watson's love life" to "a look book on Molly Hooper's love life"**

**Molly:** Gosh Greg! It's not really that big of a deal.

**Sherlock:** Yes it is.

You like him and he's not a psychopath.

**Molly:** He isn't?

**Sherlock:** He seems good for you.

You're happy.

**John:** God - this really is like secondary school.

**Greg:** Invite him Molly!

Even the great Sherlock Holmes accepts him.

**Molly:** Should I?

**Greg:** Yes.

**Molly:** Sherlock?

**Sherlock:** You don't need my permission to invite him, Molly.

**Molly:** No it's just... do you really think he's good for me?

I've got this wrong so many times.

**Sherlock:** I do.

**Molly:** Okay.

**John:** Invite him!

We'll play nice so we don't scare him away.

**Greg:** As if he wouldn't be scared the moment he steps into 221b.

**John:** Touché.

**Greg:** That was a joke - sort of.

Invite him, Molly!

**Molly:** Okay, okay I will.

**John:** I'll let Mrs. H know.

**Molly:** Wait! What if he doesn't say yes?

**Greg:** Then the Baker Street Boys will go beat him up whilst I'm on stand-by.

**John:** Hold on. Why won't you beat him up with us?

**Greg:** I am an officer of the law, John.

**Sherlock:** Yet you're telling us to beat somebody up. Interesting.

**John:** It's not like he would arrest us anyways.

**Greg:** I could though if I wanted to.

**Molly:** How? Did they do something illegal?

**Greg:** Nah not right now but I could probably gather evidence from the past few years of them.

**John:** You would never.

**Greg:** Yeah you're right.

Big brother wouldn't allow it either.

**Sherlock:** You said "Baker Street Boys", I think you just mean John.

**John:** Hey what? Why am I taking on Molly's boyfriend by myself?

**Sherlock:** You always take people on by yourself. It's what you do. You're the brawl I'm the brains.

**John:** Is that so?

**Greg:** I actually agree with him.

You kickass literally whilst he does the detective stuff.

**Sherlock:** "Detective stuff", so eloquently spoken.

**Greg:** Oh fuck off, Your Highness.

**Sherlock:** He is correct though, John.

Have you not noticed that I hardly ever get my hands dirty? You always take the suspects down.

**John:** Yeah suppose you're right there.

**Greg:** You two make a good team though.

**Molly:** Yeah you do! You work well together. :)

**Sherlock:** If we didn't make a good team I think we would have found out by now. We have been doing this for a good few years.

8 years in fact.

**Greg:** Holy shit you've been solving crimes together for 8 years?

**Sherlock:** We have.

**John:** Fuck that's a long time.

I'm getting too old for this.

**Greg:** Old? I'm the old one mate. I think I'll retire in 5 years or so.

**Molly:** Really?

**Greg:** Yeah, I can't do this forever.

**Sherlock:** I'll retire when you do, Gerry.

**John:** Gerry? That's a new one.

**Greg:** You're going to retire when I do?

**Sherlock:** Of course. It's the only logical explanation. I don't work well with any other DI. We work well together, you and I. As well as I'm getting older too, I won't be able to chase them forever.

**Molly:** I can't imagine you not solving crimes, Sherlock.

**Greg:** Me neither. What are you going to do when you retire?

**Sherlock:** Bees.

**Greg:** Bees?

**John:** Oh please don't get him started.

**Sherlock:** I'm going to retire to the countryside and keep bees.

**Greg:** What!? Really?

**Sherlock:** Yes. Really.

**Greg:** Why bees?

**Sherlock:** Bees are fascinating creatures.

Bees are great chemists.

**Molly:** Oddly I think that fits you.

**Greg:** You're going to go from chasing criminals to keeping bees?

**Sherlock:** The change will be gradual. I'll ease into the quieter lifestyle.

**Greg:** You'll have to invite us round when you retire.

**Sherlock:** Of course.

**Greg:** Where will you live?

**Sherlock:** I own a few country houses on the outskirts of London and around England so I'll choose one when the time comes.

**Greg:** Of course you fucking do. Posh boy has several houses to choose from to retire in.

**Molly:** Oh Sherlock! It sounds like it's going to be quaint :))

**Sherlock:** It will be.

**Greg:** Right so Mr. Posh Boy is going to keep bees, what are you gonna do John?

**Sherlock:** I'm not posh.

**John:** Yes you are

**Molly:** You are, Sherlock.

**Greg:** See mate, we're all against you.

So, John. Retirement?

**John:** I actually have no idea, I never planned for it.

I suppose I'll retire when you and Sherlock do.

**Molly:** Oh you three can have a joint retirement party!

**Greg:** Or we could have separate ones, triple the food.

**Sherlock:** My brother would appreciate that.

**Molly:** I assumed Sherlock and John would retire together.

**Greg:** So joint party for Watson-Holmes and I'll have my own because I'm the DI and plan on having the best retirement party NSY has seen.

**Molly:** Watson-Holmes, that's so cute!

**Greg:** Well it's better than Holmes-Watson.

**Molly:** I agree.

**Sherlock:** Watson-Holmes?

**Greg:** Combination of your surnames.

**Sherlock:** I understand that, but why?

**Greg:** You two are partners, makes sense to combine them.

Don't make a big deal, doesn't mean anything.

**Molly:** Yeah don't worry about it!

So, John. You don't know you're going to do?

**John:** No. To be honest I planned on dying at war, didn't plan on getting invalided home.

**Greg:** Didn't plan on meeting the mad-man.

**John:** Nope!

**Greg:** And now you're raising a kid together.

**Molly:** It's funny how life works, isn't it?

**John:** It is.

Retirement is a while away I'll decide later on.

Gotta get back to work.

See you guys.

**Molly:** Me too!

Back to the dead!

Sorry not that dead people are funny.

Well sometimes.

I'm kidding!

Sorry I'll go now, bye. xx

**_Saturday 14:10_ **

**Sherlock:** I think John will retire with a wife and his Rosie.

**Greg:** Retirement chat is still going...okay.

**Greg renamed the chat from "a look book on Molly Hooper's love life** " **to "the boys retirement plan"**

**Greg** : Right so makes you say that?

**Sherlock:** Isn't it obvious?

**Greg:** I hate when you say that but go ahead.

**Sherlock:** John is accustomed to a certain lifestyle. He enjoys danger but needs a sense of normalcy. It's only a matter of time before the finds a new wife and settles down.

**Greg:** He just lost his wife.

**Sherlock:** That was nearly a year ago. Statistics shows that in a few months he will seek out another.

**Greg:** Mate talk to John about this.

You've got this wrong.

**Sherlock:** Wrong? How? Did you speak with him?

**Greg:** No, I just know him. Gotta get back to work, just got a call.

Before you ask we don't need your help, just a hit and run.

**_Saturday 16:40_ **

**John:** This group chat was a mistake.

**Greg:** It's your fault.

**John:** I know. I know.

I'm on my way home, Sherlock.

I did text you but you didn't reply so if you're here..yeah.

**Greg:** Talk to him, he thinks you're gonna find a new wife.

You're not right?

**John:** Yeah that ships sailed.

I don't need a wife to raise a kid.

**Greg:** Exactly, fuck the norms.

**Molly:** You two are doing a good job together.

**John:** Thanks.

I have help from you guys too, no need for a wife.

No time for a wife anyways.

I don't want a wife.

**Sherlock:** So you're not going to move out?

**John:** Do you want me to?

**Sherlock:** If you want to I understand.

**John:** I don't want to..

**Sherlock:** Good.

You really don't want a wife?

**John:** No. I don't want normalcy either, when have I ever chosen normal?

**Sherlock:** When you married a woman.

**John:** She was a bloody assassin.

I married her for the wrong reasons anyways.

**Sherlock:** What? What reasons?

**John:** Nothing.

See you at home I'm getting the underground now.

**Sherlock:** Bring milk.

**Greg:** What the fuck do you do with the milk?

**Sherlock:** I drink it and use it for experiments.

**Greg:** But you're always arguing about milk! You're always out of it.

**Sherlock:** We drink a lot of milk and I do a lot of experiments.

**Greg:** You're a milk whore.

**Sherlock:** Childish.

**Greg:** You know it's true.

Milk Whore.

**_Saturday 17:20_ **

**John** : I agree, he's a milk whore.

I don't bloody know what he does with it.

He definitely doesn't drink it so that's a lie.

**Sherlock:** Yes I do!

**John:** No you don't!

**Sherlock:** I drink tea.

**John:** Barely.

Milk Whore.

**Greg renamed the chat from "the boys retirement plan" to "Sherlock the Milk Whore"**

**John** : I like this chat now.

**Greg:** Me too.

**Sherlock:** You're childish, Grant.

**Greg:** Says you.

You don't even use my real name, that's childish.

**Sherlock:** Your name isn't Grant?

**Greg:** Piss off.

Also don't you two live together? Why are you texting on this chat.

**John:** I'm upstairs he's downstairs.

**Sherlock:** I'm feeding Rosie he is getting changed.

**Greg:** Exciting things happening at 221b!

**Mycroft:** How domestic, brother mine.

**Sherlock:** What are you doing here?

**Mycroft:** This is a group chat is it not?

**Sherlock:** Have you apologised to John?

**Mycroft:** Apologise? Whatever for?

**Greg:** You can't be serious, Mycroft.

**Mycroft:** What do I need to apologise for?

**Greg:** The incident with John.

**Mycroft:** Oh.

**Sherlock:** Don't pretend you don't know what we're talking about.

**Greg:** I thought Sherlock was the one who didn't know feelings.

**John:** Sherlock has feelings.

Sometimes.

**Mycroft:** John, check your bank account.

**John:** What the fuck, Mycroft?

You can't bribe an apology.

**Greg:** What the hell Mycroft?

Who raised you?

**Sherlock:** This isn't Mummy's fault, it is his own. He believes manipulation and bribery is the way to the heart.

Mummy raised us well.

**Greg:** I'd like to meet your mother. The woman who raised the Holmes brothers must be a saint.

**John:** She's a wonderful woman, she seems so ordinary. It's odd how she raised such eccentric children.

She calls Mycroft Mike.

**Greg:** Haha that's brilliant, I love it.

I think it would be Myc though.

**John:** Oh who cares.

**Greg:** Touché.

Myc, we know you're lurking. Money isn't an apology.

**Sherlock:** He's not going to come out of the shadows now.

He'll wait for a dramatic entrance, it's what he does.

**Greg:** It's what you do too to be fair.

**Sherlock:** No it's not.

**John:** Yes it is.

You're a drama Queen.

**Sherlock:** So are you.

**John:** What!? No I'm not.

**Sherlock:** Yes you are.

**John:** Greg.

**Greg:** You both are drama Queens.

**John:** Fine.

**Sherlock:** Dinner's ready.

**John:** You could just talk to me I'm just on the couch.

**Greg:** You're in the same room yet you're texting each other.

**Sherlock:** In fairness I didn't realise he was down here.

**John:** I'm used to it by now I guess.

**Greg:** Your relationship will forever baffle me.

**John:** You and I both.

**Sherlock:** What does that mean?

**John:** Nothing.

**Greg:** What's for dinner at 221b?

**John:** Sherlock made gnocchi.

**Greg:** Hold up. Sherlock can cook?

**Sherlock:** Why are you so surprised? It's just chemistry.

**Greg:** I suppose it is.

**Sherlock:** It is.

**Greg:** So you cooked for you and John?

**Sherlock:** Obviously. Rosie is only a baby, even I know she can't eat processed foods. Rosie has baby food for dinner.

**Greg:** You cooked edible food for John and you to eat for dinner...together?

**Sherlock:** Yes.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to eat my dinner with the rest of them.

**Greg:** Them?

**Sherlock:** John and Rosie, obviously.

**Greg:** Right, just checking.

**_Saturday 22:30_ **

**Mycroft:** It has come to my attention that I acted poorly upon hearing John learning Anna's name. I didn't realise the lengths of which your friendship with her were. She cares a great deal for you and I assume you care for her too. I sincerely apologise for the hash way I spoke to you. I apologise for trying to earn your forgiveness via money. I am not used to having friends. However I understand if my invitation to dinner is no longer extended.

I decided a public apology was best, given you had to confess something personal publicly.

**Sherlock:** You're learning, Mycroft.

John is in the shower, I'll tell him to check his phone when he's out.

**Molly:** Is it okay that we know her name?

**Mycroft:** It is now.

**Molly:** Hopefully she'll come to dinner :)

**Anthea has joined the chat**

**Anthea:** I will not be in attendance.

Thank you John for the invitation nonetheless.

**Anthea has left the chat**

**Molly:** Right so how did that just happen..nobody added her..

**Sherlock:** Pretend it didn't happen.

**Molly:** um okay

anyways I'm gonna sleep I feel a bit dead.

get it?

i work with dead people.

**Sherlock:** Molly go to sleep.

**Molly:** Right, going.

Goodnight.

**_Saturday 22:55_ **

**John:** I accept your apology, Mycroft.

You're still invited to dinner.

Anna I'm sorry to hear you can't make it.

**Greg:** She left the chat.

**Sherlock:** She's obviously reading our messages, how else would she have known to join the chat at the right time.

You disappoint me Graham.

**Greg:** Oh yeah she works for Mycroft.

The name's Greg by the way.

**Mycroft:** Can we stop discussing my PA?

**Sherlock:** Are you sure you still want to invite him, John?

**John:** As much as he's a wanker, he's your brother and our friend.

So yes he is still invited.

**Greg:** As Mrs. Hudson says family is all we got in the end.

**John:** Exactly.

**Greg:** God bless that woman.

**Mycroft:** Thank you for your generosity, John. I will be in attendance on Christmas Eve.

I understand why you kept him around all these years, brother mine.

**John:** He hasn't "kept" me, I decided to stay.

God knows why.

**Greg:** I know why.

**John:** Shut up, Greg.

**Sherlock:** John come downstairs, it's Bond night.

**John:** It's late, let's do tomorrow night.

Also why didn't you just text me directly?

**Sherlock:** I had the chat open and I know you do too so it's convenient.

**Mycroft:** What is "Bond night"?

**Greg:** Some sort of male bonding exercise?

**John:** Bond. James Bond.

**Greg:** You have a night designated to watching James Bond movies?

**Sherlock:** Yes we do and it's tonight so John come downstairs.

**John:** Fine I'm coming.

**Greg:** Enjoy your date boys.

**John:** Piss off.

**Sherlock:** John.

**John:** Fine, I said I was coming calm down you great git.

**Greg:** Myc, what you got on tonight?

**Mycroft:** Refrain from using that nickname.

As for "what I've got on tonight" as you so eloquently put it, I have a meeting with Korea at 11:30pm.

Goodbye.

**Greg:** The polite thing would have been to ask what I was doing tonight I suppose that's the Holmes' boys for you.

I think I'm the last one here so good night.

...

**Sherlock:** John asked me what was going on in the group chat so I told him what you were saying and he instructed me to say good night to you as that's the polite thing to do apparently.

He left his phone upstairs so good night from John and I, Graham.

**Greg:** In a strange way that's comforting so thank you, good night enjoy your movie.

Also my name is Greg, you dick.


End file.
